Wednesday, 1 September 2010

what's the point in trying?

i mean
what is the point in trying
i mean
monday's show was horrible
i was dreadful
lost in space and time
completely off
a small hard audience made it harder but i was poor in every sense
and then i get this review below
from Monday Magazine
the decent local freebie

★★★★½ jem rolls: ONE MAN RIOT
- (Venue 16, University Canada West) He’s back again! While he hasn’t brought last year’s Leastest Flops with him, Jem Rolls remains a treat to watch. This time around, he’s here to tell his part of the London head tax riot. Heads are smashed! Thatcher criticized! Film purchased! Chain restaurants sacrificed to the British public! By the time 15 minutes has passed, Rolls whips himself into a terrifically sweaty frenzy, though always staying just enough in control to move us from one scene of half-civilized violence to the next. If you miss or missed punk like this reviewer does, don’t pass this rebellion fix up.

that's my best review this summer
for my worst show

so what does this mean?
what this means is that i expend far too much energy trying to be good
when it doesn't matter at all
and tonight?
tonight i'm going to drink six pints of lager
down a couple of scotches
and smoke a joint or two to make sure i'm a total mental disaster
and then stroll on stage to casually begin the show in an
stand-up manner
and stop to fart or talk about my earwax
and remove my earwax
and eat it
and spend the first fifteen minutes talking about how funny i am
without actually saying anything funny
and make it clear to everyone that i'm doing them all a huge favour just by being there
cos it obviously doesn't matter at all what i do or think or say
cos its going to be good anyway
i mean
what's the point in trying?
in fact that review is my best of the summer
for my worst show of the summer
which is hilarious
and many other irrelevant adjectives as well but who cares?
next year i'm not even going to bring some words
i'm going to grunt
in a few dead languages
what's the point...?
why bother even trying to be good?

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