Sunday, 27 December 2009

the bucket of unused ideas

well i'm supposedly a writer
though i have tenuous a toehold on the world of letters as it possible to have whilst still actually having one
but i do make a living from writing and performing... in the medium which doesn't properly exist... performance poetry
and i never made the poets vow of poverty
so i'm still amazed i ended up making a living doing this
but i do think most writers must have a much more organised way of working than i do
i mean, as a writer i quite suit performance poetry... in that i have loads and loads of disconnected ideas
am constantly brimming over with them
and as a performer you need to fill all the moments
in an hour show you cannot have any phase of weak ideas
so you need to keep the ideas and writing coming at a pretty constant rate
and i do it at a high-energy rate
and spill them out faster than almost anyone can take them in
so i need masses mof bold new and appealingly worded ideas
a glut a pour a mass of welter of them
yet i do often wonder if i make it way too difficult for myself
by having such a backlog of disparate ideas
i try to have a filing system
but no filing system of categories ideas holds water for very long
whim and logic break all categories sooner or later, and generally sooner
so i have on disk and on paper and swirling around my brain, in and out of the reach of memory, a brawling mass of hundreds if not thousands of ideas
and they frequently overwhelm me to the point where i cannot work
for its all too much
and there is so much i cannot remember right now
or will piece together better at a clearer headed time
and often its like playing memory
that card game of remembering pairs i and many others played as kids
and of forlornly moving bits around hoping they'll fit together if i just keep trying...
so yes, the bucket of unused ideas
its spilling over
always spilling over
its unwieldy, heavy, and it never seems to get any emptier, no matter how much stuff i eventually finish
and i thought this blog would help
would help collate ideas into coherent wholes
so to try harder to make this blog help
i'm going to do twenty blogs in one day
yes twenty
and see if that helps
let's see

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