the 2010 me looks across the backyards at the 2006

edinburgh
yesterday, burning hot in the second day of summer
as the aircon train wound its delayed way north through carlisle
today, the level grey blanket uniform above
breaks rain on the cold street
before the sun and the heat break out again
...
where,
right outside
its the edinburgh marathon starting point
and a tannoy
yes a tannoy
of excitable male voice blares loud
into Francis' unshuttered window
with an intermittent commentary on
a good day for running
as the knots of coloured vests and shorts
collect and thicken into
one homogenous street-filling rectangular crowd
limb-flexing in anticipation
keeping themselves warm
some wearing binliners
lining politely for the portaloos
while disco classics sound in the gap between
his street-filling enthusings
a cheese of international welcome
big shout out to everyone here from Belgium
driving me to the
back of the house
...
looking out over the backyards to realise
that's the back of montgomery street
where i spent a winter
in the basement way across
that's the last place i called home
[though i spent five months on macmillan in winnipeg
and 12 weeks in friederiksborg in copenhagen]
a whole winter, 2005/6
a whole life got used to
its own normality
its own uniqueness
its whole beginning and end
a whole life long gone, thank god
yet a whole passage of writing
... that was where i wrote and learnt my 2006 show,
a show i like a lot
my favourite show of poems rather than one long poem
a whole show created over full months
collating ideas fusing ideas editing ideas fevering ideas
creating pieces poems jokes refrains
creating a whole
refashioning a whole
and then learning
learning
first mouthing
louder stronger broader wider faster louder
varying changing diversifying reimagining expanding shrinking
boiling down ideas into a whole
and learning learning learning for months until
i ejected into the Canadian tour
for four rampaging months of success and exhaustion
and there was
no coming back to that abandoned life
the wreckage strewn in my wake
and me gone and
shocked to find myself single
...
...