Saturday, 29 May 2010

A Mockney History Of Thingy And Thingammy

So Thingy’s working at a ******* factory near the Arsenal, it’s a crap job but it keeps him off the beer half the day, and in beer the rest, and one day this round chummy Chilean woman, Thingammy, who’s also working there and wants to do a pH.d but has visa problems so she suggests to Thingy they do the obvious and she’ll pay him fifteen hundred quid, this is way back so its decent cash, and Thingy is convinced that he, Thingy, is bi though all his mates just think he’s gay, he seems to have no interest in women whatsoever, but it ain’t like he’s taken and he needs the money though his liver doesn’t so if they're gonna do it they have to do it proper so she gets together this giant Chilean booze’n’knees up and everybody gets staggeringly hammered, as you do, and half the wedding is an army of Chilean musicians and Thingummy’s pretty good guitar and voice herself and then, when everyone’s gone, and this bit is unclear, did they have sex for a joke, did they fancy each other, did they just think they should???... whatever, they do it and in the morning they do it again and the upshot is they’re properly together and he never sees the slightest sniff of the fifteen hundred and now twenty years later they're still together, she’s a Doctor of Anthropology and they’ve got two kids and a nice flat in Muswell Hill, funny how it all works out yeah?

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jem!

    This morning I noticed you were on the cover of the Culture section of the Montreal Gazette. They implied you were successful, so I grabbed a copy for you.

    Shall I hold it until I invariably see you this summer? I'm entered into the Ottawa and Winnipeg Fringe.

    take care,